Early Warning Signs:

Extreme Jealousy:Everyone gets jealous at times. Jealousy is a reaction to feeling threatened by someone or something. Extreme jealousy happens when someone feels threatened by just about everything. If your partner gets angry when you talk to other people, have close friends, or look at others, your partners jealousy is unhealthy.

Possessiveness:If you feel like your partner treats you like his or her possession, not wanting you to share your time or give any attention to anything else, he or she is being possessive. In essence, your partner is not allowing you to be yourself.

Controlling Attitude:Do you ever feel like you are a puppet and your partner is pulling the strings? If your partner doesn't listen to your point of view, always has to be right, tells you what to do, where to go, and what to wear, he or she is controlling you.

Unpredictable Mood Swings:Nobody stays in the same mood all the time, but a dramatic shift from being jealous, controlling, or angry to being sweet, charming, and loving is a dangerous sign. ·

Alcohol & Drug Use:Alcohol and drugs lower a person's self-control. When one or both partners have been drinking or doing drugs, the chance of violence occurring increases dramatically.

Explosive Anger: Everyone gets angry but explosive anger usually hurts others physically or emotionally. Name calling, hitting walls, or threatening violence are dangerous signs.

Are you in an abusive relationship?

If you answer yes to any of the following questions, abuse is taking place in your relationship.

Has your partner:

Withheld approval, appreciation, or affection to punish you?

Continually criticized you, called you names or shouted at you?

Ignored your feelings regularly?

Ridiculed or insulted your morals, religion, race, class?

Manipulated you with lies?

Insisted that you dress the way he or she wants?

Humiliated you in private or public?

Insulted you?

Thrown objects at you?

Destroyed any of your valued possessions?

Raped you or subjected you to violent or degrading non-consensual sex acts?

Threatened to commit suicide if you leave?

Understanding the Cycle of Relationship Abuse

You have probably heard the term, "cycle of abuse." Generally speaking, abuse is cyclical, meaning, it follows a certain cycle. The cycle of relationship abuse goes through four stages.

The important thing to remember about the cycle of abuse is that as it continues, violence increases. What started out as a slap in the face, turns into broken bones or worse.

Stage One: Tension Building all relationships include some aspect of tension. In an abusive relationship, the level of tension increases to the point of explosion. Often, the sources of tension have nothing to do with the relationship.

Stage Two: Explosion When the level of tension is overwhelming, the result is an explosion. This manifests itself in physical, verbal, emotional or sexual abuse.Once violence has occurred, the tension dissipates, and the abuser may feel a strong sense of well-being. After the abuse takes place, the abuser often feels a tremendous amount of guilt and remorse.

Stage Three: The "Honeymoon" Stage Abusers are very convincing. Following an explosion, the abuser will often apologize and begin to make promises that the abuse will never happen again. The abuser will often try to convince you of his or her love while turning the blame on the victim. Often, victims of abuse begin to think that the abuse is truly their fault.

Stage Four: Repetition Unless the abuser puts him or her self to learning new ways to cope with stress, the cycle of abuse will repeat. If nothing is done to break the cycle, the honeymoon periods will get shorter and shorter and the periods of abuse will become more frequent and violent.